Ben and Harry are two young boys, in their 20's.
The customer refused the wine.
He said to me:
- It's not properly cold.
So we had to take back 2 glasses of wine from them to the bar.
So. The boys took it and drank the glasses. Sure. Typically a thing that If I were in my 20's I will done.
I couldn't hold my tears.
I had a big cry, as my teacher Danny taught us.
It's too much.
Because it's not about work, being tired or exhausted. It's also about to learn language at the same time that you don't have more energy and strength.
I can not express myself in English, and this drives me crazy!
- What can I get for you today, Mr Wood?
Chef Wayne says it everyday.
Everyday I have like 100 imaginary conversations in my mind and I 'm just about to speak - for real - What a shame.
It's always a shame when I try to communicate or set off a conversation.
ALWAYS.
I don't have courage to give up. No yet.
I'm not allowed to give up.
I should be patient and keep going though.
Today I'm here in front of desk in Australia Club, I´m working.
Today I'm beat.I will have double shift: here and other one in Stadium.
Hopefully It wll be easy, pretty quiet and warm.
It has been freezing since May, like 6 degrees and I´m wearing the same clothes for days.
Sometimes I think that I don't know how cope with this situation, however, I want to stay here so badly, and become fluently in English, that I just accept.
Sad but true.
Few days ago I have received some photos. An old friend of mine sent to me.
ACTUALLY he has no clue about how important was to see these photos.
He has no idea about the impact of these images.
It was like a time machine and I traveled through time.
I went back 20 years ago. It was fantastic.
And I found "a Vanessa" young, irresponsible, happy, dope, drunk, spontaneous , with collagen a lot. Without paranoia, worries or plenty of bills.
HOw can I get this Vanessa again? how?
7 months in here, and I´ve been thinking of my family and my home, everyday.
Nowadays, I´ve been feeling a little bit strange.
I´ve said goodbye for many people whose are leaving Sydney for many reasons, wick make me think about myself.
What´s my limit?
Whays my "I´m done" or "I give up"?
I´ve been juggling with so many things such as: my son in Brazil, alone ( I wonder if he will forget me), I have a rented apartment in BR, I have a love there, I have to save money to keep me here and to help my son, I have my saving going dow with Brazilian´s bills, I have pain in my back wich put a limit in my body.
I don't feel enough confident with my English, with my vocabulary. I need to work more than 24 hours per week to get enough or adequate money to survive here.
I don't have money to buy things... things that I used to buy.
I´ve been listenning so many podcasts and TedTalks to practice my listenning and it´s drives me crazy.
Ive got doubts. Imnot interest in now going back to Brazil to do the same thing,, the same work, even the same life.
I ahve changed different y mind about everything and I dont know how cope eith these all changes. I just fell in and recognize that my life should be different to used to be.
I miss everybody in my country but I need to do what I promised to myself.
I'm afraid again.
I believe that I'm pushing myseld to know other world, options, lifestyles, other places, other people, cultures and lives.
I'm looking forward to seeing my next chapter, wich I don't know when and how starts but I´ve got a feeling and specially aim that I’ll find what I'm looking for.
It´s no about sadness or happiness
It is not easy this way. Binary. Black or white. on or either
Sometimes It´s gloomy anda gray anda clowdy.
Sometimes our souls miss something and we don´t get whats it is.
Sometimes you only need a big and good cry. Even nothing happened after this.It´s crucial and vital to cry.
Sometimes just to listenning a old song, you feel all everything again.
Its like a miss of something wich you know pretty much will never coming back again.
And you need take your pieces anda live beautifully with what that you have.
3 hundreds dollars per week
We need to save more money
Money, Money, Money, Mooooney. It´s ridiculous money....
But we can though this journey!
This song, my friend STE and I createad at work In Australia Club. Its all about my savings to keep me here in Sydney :)
25-08-2024
Sydney - Greenwich College
If you wanna learn expression in English, If you wanna have a real speaking class, this course it´s for you.
It is not a boring class or a class with focus on grammar, or not about just doing exercises and more exercises. Not at all.
Its a class where you practice vocabulary and you learn things such as phrasal verbs, - Cup of tea, Rack you brain, out of the beaten track... Do tou know theses expressions? So there you will learn.
We learn about 20 new word per day! And this guy (teacher) pushs you to create sentences everyday with these new words till you get the meaning, the correct one.
It´s a fun class.
